** This blog is based on my perspective as a young girl. I feel most religions have great teachings and hold a good place in the lives of many people.
I was raised Jehovah’s Witness. I was taught that women had their place in the home and in ministry. Here’s a scripture that used to scare me when I was only a child. Even then I knew I couldn’t be this. Was I born defective? Was Satan himself pervading my soul? I have highlighted the areas that made me feel shameful of who I truly was.
1Peter 3: 1-22 – Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands
Yes that was what I saw and what I was taught, Be perfect, be beautiful, be quiet and do
I recall, while recently doing inner child work, just how awkward I felt among the Jehovah Witness people I knew. As a JW, you were not allowed to associate with “worldly” people. They made the world outside the religion seem scary, almost like a war zone. But of course, it wouldn’t be a religion without the fear. The women were submissive, small and quiet. The men were dominant and the rulers. Women still are not allowed to be anything but pioneers in the religion. (Those are the people knocking on your door Saturday mornings).
I’m going to state it here for my whole family to see, if they choose to look. I am a Pagan Witch! In the world of the JW’s, that’s basically me saying I’m the devil himself. But, this
Let me state exactly why I say I am a pagan witch. Pagan- because I believe mother nature, the stars and sky are my god. Witch – because I use energy work in what I do to help people. Wow, I’m such a sinner! HAHA
I wish I could say that, at age 16 when I chose to no longer participate in the JW teachings, that I was free and began living my true authentic self. But no, the way I was taught was there corrupting my strength and my voice. For the next 20 years I would continue to find partners that would make me feel small and insignificant. I was attracting my match because, even though the desire to be who I am now existed, she was buried by my biblical training.
Its taken 23 years to undo the 16 years of training. I tried to drink it away, smoke it away, fuck it away. It wasn’t until I found my god, the god that raises goddesses up to be honored, that I would finally find my way out of the jail inside of my head. The jail created by religion. I do not have a hatred for religion. It works for many people. It allows them a feeling of belonging. It gives them a community of like minded individuals to feel safe and comfortable with. Religion does save people. But to think it is one size fits all is where I will argue.
Let me rewind to where I said I turned my back on the religion that turned its back on me. When you are baptized (thankfully this is a choice you make somewhere around the
I was never baptized so I was never disfellowshipped. But I was the child of 2 parents that became disfellowshipped. At age 15 both my parents were cast out of the only world I was allowed to know. As a result, so was I. My friends parents cut off the friendships and many family members abandoned us. This was an awful way to gain the freedom to leave but so be it, I was finally out!
Thank you Jehovah’s Witnesses! You taught me to be shameful of myself, to feel guilty for the slightest imperfection, fear abandonment and to be untrusting. You gave me ZERO tools for navigating the world. But I forgive you. Even though you can only forgive me if I 
** This blog is based on my perspective as a young girl. I feel religion has a good place in the lives of many people.