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4 year old little girl All dressed up so sweet With bows in my hair And shiny shoes on my feet She’ll do it all Watching Indiana Jones She dreamed about jungles And destinations unknown She wanted to travel To see all the sites Hike mountainside in the day Watching stars in the night She didn’t know She had limits in life To only be a pioneer Or be a mother and wife Then as she got older She started to learn beyond serving a man Ideas had to be burned She’s reminded what’s said In Genesis 2: starting verse 10 god considers women Just a helper to men Be mild and submissive how a lady should seem They serve men and god Foregoing their dreams Now lets all turn to Genesis 19:8 Where Lot offers his own daughters up to be raped Then onward to 1 Corinthians 11: 5 Teaches I should be grateful To men I’m alive Men are the teachers Women are not Get in you place Remember your spot Your ideas are useless Your thoughts are just dumb You nothing but a woman Under a man’s thumb They don't stop at Sundays Each day it was taught They successfully removed Any cognitive thought I began to conform to Biblical recommendation I kept myself small For the indoctrination Be a good woman Tender and sweet Serve Jehovah God A good man I will meet Don’t get too curious Don’t talk too loud Don’t be a gossip Don’t be too proud Cover your body Hair modestly done Don’t stumble a man Like Eve did on day one Don’t ever question Always listen to them They always know best since God speaks through men So came the day I was found all alone With a man who had intentions of his own I didn’t question or tell He made me unclean It didn’t feel good As I was only thirteen I blamed myself For the force of his hand I had new breasts My cleavage stumbled this man In my mind I had asked For this horrible fate Because I dressed sexy And agreed to the date I was 13 and him 23 For 30 years I hid What he’d done to me My spirit ran in that moment And it would leave for some time I started to rebel And act out of line My parents were flustered Didn’t know what to do My mother started noticing The bigger issue There was more to the story My eyes used to be bright But she saw internally I was ready to fight Where it was coming from She didn’t know But a force within her Said its time to go She started rebelling Right along with me The sexism and bullshit We started to see I stopped looking for a man in the congregation But I still couldn’t shake All the indoctrination So when I found him I was 14, and not strong He promised to love me And help me belong I didn’t see His controlling tone It looked so normal In this life I had known A good wife was quiet Submissive and sweet She’ll make you great meals And massage your feet As much as I fought Saying this isn’t me I really didn’t know Another way to be I was running on wisdom I knew was untrue But I just submitted Not knowing what else I could do At age 16 I married this man Not really knowing His true long term plan Abusive, neglectful Intimidating and mean He moved me far away So the treatment was unseen But he didn’t know The feisty girl locked in side Didn’t know what would hit him When she’d no longer hide She ripped through those vows Tearing them to shreds She blew up the marriage And fucked with his head She fought and rebelled Trying to push him away Doing everything she could So he wouldn’t stay But he wouldn’t let go Of this girl he possessed He fought back with vengeance So again she repressed But he didn’t know She had power untapped Her mother would fight A way out she had mapped You’ll cook and you’ll clean Don’t slack on one chore Be pleasant and loving Smile as he comes through the door Make him believe The marriage is something to save Tell him you really Want to learn to behave When I come to get you I will play along I will swallow my pride And for you I’ll be strong Once the car gets to moving And he’s in the rear view I want you to breath trust I’ll protect you When he gets into town Know your job is done Your step dad will meet him At the gate with his gun He has a few friends That may join in the fight These men may look rough But they treat women right The day he arrived I heard a loud sound It was the roar of motorcycles Gathering around And as my ex husband Pulled up to the gate I will never forget The fear on his face He became more compliant After that day When those kind badass bikers Scared him away.