Have more intimate conversations! Ask this one question as often as possible.
Sometimes relationships get to a stale spot. You get into a routine that you’ve grown accustomed to. Conversation become daily highlights mixed with health report and household requests.
“How was your day?”
“Good. How was yours?
“Back doing better?”
“Yea it is. Hows your headache?”
“It finally went away. Did you take the trash down to the curb?”
Now this is a very normal conversation Im sure every couple has had. And thats absolutely a conversation that deeply connected couples have.
It becomes a divider when it doesn’t get beyond this for a long time. When you forget how to get to know your partner. The conversation has gotten dull, each one diving into the thoughts in their head they may suppress.
At first it may start off with thinking “nah, i dont feel like talking about _______ tonight. I’ll skip it and just go watch our show” and its really no big deal. But we keep skipping it and skipping it. We share less and less. Until theres a mountain of things left unsaid between you.
Next time your partner is telling you about their day, bring the conversation into feelings by asking How did that feel for you?
Asking this way, instead of the traditional “How did that make you feel” puts the power of their feelings within their control. Asking your partner how something felt for them lets them process any leftover energy connected to their day or situation they are discussing. It helps them feel heard and seen.
By encouraging your partner to drop into their feelings, you help them drop into their emotional body. They get to feel that you are caring about them, loving them.
Meanwhile, you are getting to know your partner on a deeper level. Their feelings and emotions are their vibration. As you are connecting to their emotions through empathy and compassion, you are connecting to their energy and vibration. You are connecting to them.
So next time your partner starts talking to you about their day, ask how that felt for them.
THEN, take it to the next level. Ask them if there is anything they need.
Needs may be a hot bath after a stressful day. Maybe a resource for a problem they’ve encountered. They might’ve just needed you to listen and now they feel satisfied. The fact that you asked can be heart warming for your partner.
Doing this for a time can slowly breakdown the walls of silence and bring you into deeper conversations. As you grow closer to your partner you make space for love and joy to grow between you.
If the idea of this feels stressful maybe I can help. My couples sessions are intuitively curated to guide your love toward deeper intimacy and connection. CLICK HERE for information on my couples sessions and to book your free introduction call.