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What is a “Trigger”?

We all experience anger, sadness, fear, and other negative feelings; however, these emotions can be a result of proportionate and logical reasons. When these emotions feel like they originated from almost nowhere or are more powerful than their cause allows, this might be due to an emotional trigger. Mental health triggers depend on one’s personal experiences; therefore, there is an infinite list of things that trigger people. This article is meant to help you understand if you might have emotional triggers and, if so, how to deal with them. 

Emotional triggers can be smells, sounds, people, objects, or memories that provoke extreme undesired feelings. This change in feelings can be sudden; in other cases, it will be more intense than the trigger would normally warrant. Emotional triggers can often be accompanied by : 

  • Anger
  • Nausea
  • Dizziness
  • Rapid heart rate
  • Shaking
  • Chest pain
  • Extreme sadness
  • And many more

Based on the symptoms the person experiences, they might have various types of emotional triggers. Emotional triggers include: 

  • Anxiety triggers: this type is mostly associated with stress and panic. They include nervousness and anxiety that feels like it comes from nowhere and is cored in the trigger.
  • Trauma triggers: this type is frequently caused by PTSD stress. For many individuals, they might subconsciously or consciously stay away from places, people, situations, or things that could trigger them. 
  • Anger triggers: there are times when you might find yourself irrational upset about something or a situation. This is a vital indication of an anger trigger, and it takes a lot to control this type of emotional trigger.

Identifying emotional triggers

This process takes a significant amount of time and soul searching. However, there are steps one can implement to make it easier to identify emotional triggers in life. Additionally, you may have many emotional triggers, but despite this, the important thing is identifying the trigger. 

Managing emotional triggers

Realizing what triggers you psychologically is only the first step; escaping or avoiding trigger situations might be tricky. The following are a few strategies on how to go about your life while managing your emotional triggers:

  • Accept your emotions: since emotions are part of human existence, they can provoke your triggers, and that is okay. Remember to be gentle with yourself and avoid comparing your past experiences in life with your present. The past might have been wounded; as you keep healing, remember that the scars are a reminder that you are more powerful than whatever tried to hurt you.
  • Give yourself some space. The emotional trigger might be overwhelming. Therefore you can always take a step back for some space. It is always okay to take or ask for a break to prevent a negative emotional bomb. When alone, try taking deep breaths and relaxing because your objective is to clear your mind and gain control of your emotions to handle the trigger more effectively. 
  • Open-mindedness: being human at times means our triggers become our masters. If you feel like everyone around you is intentionally making you feel bad, you might have to rethink that. Since they are also humans, they might feel triggered and not be aware. Therefore, being open-minded helps you be more empathetic, avoid being judgemental, and try considering people’s emotions.
  • Practice more positive actions: often, when we experience strong negative emotions, we express them negatively. Suppose you feel lonely and perhaps feel like locking yourself in a room to starve or stress eating; you can try being more positive. Rather than this form of isolation, you can try talking to your friends or family and engage in activities that will stimulate more positive feelings. 
  • Communication: if all the above is ineffective in managing your emotional triggers, it might be time to open up. Talking to the provoked person to prevent the repetition of such a situation is a good step. Express your emotions in a way that does not harm anyone. Then check in with yourself in a composed and calm manner while communicating your feelings.  

Dealing with emotional triggers

The above strategies might not be long-term in managing your emotional triggers. You can meet triggers anywhere at any time, and band-aid solutions might be ineffective. The following are several long-term tips you can implement to deal with emotional triggers: 

  • Being mindful: being psychologically prepared will help you be in connection with your feelings; therefore, you can understand your triggers and manage them accordingly. Self-regulation is a crucial skill to master from a young age until adulthood. Yoga and mediation can be effective. 
  • Be aware of toxic relationships. When a relationship lacks mutual consideration, respect, and understanding is a toxic relationship. You might have people in your life who constantly annoy you regardless of asking them to stop kindly. It would be best to learn how to deal with such people; pausing the relationship may be needed. For your peace of mind, nothing be compromised. 
  • Journal: for some people, journaling feels like work; however, writing down how you feel is therapeutic and can help you notice patterns. Journaling vital information will guide you to avoid or cope with triggers. 
  • Professional help: self-regulation is not the easiest of skills to master. Triggers can be deeply rooted in your demeanor and might be recognized. Seeking professional therapy might help you identify such triggers. In therapy, you can express yourself freely without fear of being judged. Therefore you can manage your feelings better. In therapy, you will be offered guidance and support while in the healing journey. You could be healing from:
    • Rejection
    • Insecurities
    • Loss of control
    • Engaged beliefs
    • Unfair treatment
    • Loss of independence
    • And many more

Conclusion

The bottom line is that learning to know and cope with your emotional triggers is not a day’s job. This might take a while, but constant efforts will pay off significantly for you as a person and in relationships. Unpleasant situations can trigger negative reactions in anyone; however, we can healthily manage triggers and navigate tension easily. 

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Sol Y Luna Festival

Tantric Shamanic Festival: Sol Y Luna

In these difficult times, you might have a yearning to connect with yourself or your partner on a deeper level. So, are you ready to explore this longing to understand your body or your partner’s emotional and physical intimacy?

You have probably heard of or attended numerous Tantric festivals, but have you attended the Sol Y Luna tantric Shamanic Festival? If you haven’t, this is an opportunity to see what mind and body transformations will be happening in April 2023 during Sol Y Luna. There will be the best facilitators (including ME!) ready and willing to offer you the most authentic, spiritually elevating mind and body healing experience. The following are among the activities you can expect from the Tantric Shamanic Festival: Sol Y Luna. 

solylunafestival.com 10% Discount code CASAUNDRA10

Retreat Experience with a Festival Vibe

The flow of experiences and activities are well thought out to create an alchemical and integrative journey where integration and embodiment of what has been experienced is our focus. We are inclusive to all polarities, including:

  • Masculine and Feminine
  • Dominant and Submissive
  • Lite and Dark
  • Yin and Yang
  • Expansion and Contraction
  • Birth and Death

Multiple tantra teachers

The tantric shamanic festival, Sol Y Luna, has been organized by well-experienced tantra teachers, alchemists, shamans, entertainers and leaders whose sole purpose is to ensure you have the transformative experience you desire. All of us are completely focused on ensuring you go back home as a changed individual, spiritually lifted, and reaching the dimensions in your soul you never thought possible. Attending the Sol Y Luna is a special way of enjoying unique and different teaching techniques and understanding various approaches to tantra, shamanism and shadow work.

New experiences

Every tantra workshop and festival is special in its own unique way; therefore, at Sol Y Luna tantric shamanic festival, expect to understand, feel, and see new things. The possibilities are truly infinite as you will experience love among your new brothers and sisters, sensual workshops opening your lower chakras, expansive workshops designed for enlightenment and spiritual awakenings, you name it. There are endless possibilities to these experiences.

Ecstatic Dance and music

One thing we can all agree on about music and dance is that they have a way of capturing our bodies, mind, and soul. The ecstatic dance you will experience in Sol Y Luna is nothing ordinary, and this could be dance where one person with more masculine energy will lead. The one with more feminine energy will follow the lead. Note that masculine and feminine are energies and have nothing to do with gender; therefore, either a man or woman can have any role. Music and dance are a great way to help you let go of your worries, stress, and anxieties in life, and it creates a safe space for you to socialize with others, learn and share your experience. You will have the chance to create invaluable memories with strangers, thus learning one of Tantra’s principles: everything in the universe has the same energy. So lets move our universal energy in dance!!

Healing activities

One of the most significant elements of a tantra festival is spiritual healing, which is among the major reasons individuals attend them. Sol Y Luna will focus on ensuring you experience authentic spiritual healing, helping you open up to like-minded individuals, sound baths, intentional touch, dancing like no one’s watching, eating amazing food, and vibing to great music can help in healing your divine. 

A powerful energy 

One unarguable feeling you can be certain to feel as soon as you attend the Tantric Shamanic Festival, Sol Y Luna, is a dynamic energy grounding with heart expansion. Tantra is significantly based on energies; therefore, expect nothing less when you attend the Sol Y Luna tantra festival led by the best and most highly skilled tantric shamanic teachers. If I were to describe that feeling, it feels like being wrapped up in a duvet of positive energy. This is when you can freely be yourself and dive into anything you want in the tantra festival. 

Freedom

Imagine a place where you can do anything you want, anything at all, with consent, of course. Somewhere that values your freedom of mind, too, this is among the experiences you can expect from the Sol Y Luna tantra festival. There are several basic rules to create a container of safety for everyone, but you can be yourself without apologies. Finally, a chance to let loose of all the bottled-up energy and the freedom to let your mind, body, and soul be in a symphony, feeling the music of your energy from inside out, is what being in sync with your higher self feels like. 

The above are only a few of the amazing experiences you can expect from Sol Y Luna. Others include great performances, light and dark temple nights,  cuddle party, just to mention a few. Come and experience the great tantra shamanic festival, whose sole aim is to guide you in all matters, including sexuality, yoga, sensuality, kundalini, divine art of touch, self-touch, and many more. I will be a facilitator at the upcomingTantric Shamanic Festival: Sol Y Luna in April 2023. I have a 10% discount code for tickets; the code is CASAUNDRA10; let us talk, and I’ll see you there.

The Festival website is solylunafestival.com discount code CASAUNDRA10

How it begins ~ by Casaundra Hope

I was 19 years old 
with 2 kids in tow 
My eyes full of tears 
knowing I had to go

He’d shove me and push me 
careful not to bruise
Held me down for his needs 
like a doll to be used

“Where will you go?”
He’d scream
knowing i was trapped
I wasn't allowed to hold money 
so my sources were capped

Barefoot and pregnant 
is all that you’ll be
A sorry piece of shit 
meant to serve only me

Now clean up the house 
and make me a meal 
Keep going on
and try not to feel

I want a divorce
I’d say voice cracking
Go on, try to leave me 
go on, get to packing

You’ll never survive
you’ll live in a van
Cause a woman can't live 
without a man

Who’ll watch the kids
as you make five bucks to my ten 
They will eat up your paycheck 
you’ll come running back then

Im already pregnant
with kid number three
This one will come to give me 
a strength that I’ll need

When she’s born I will get 
my tubes tied that same day 
I wont give him another chance 
to force me to stay

Your too young says the doc
you have to be 21
Remember,
this procedure can not be undone.

Will i ever be free? 
Its too painful to say 
But inside me arose 
a power that day

When my daughter was born 
she had eyes that i knew
One day he'd make me chose 
between him or you

You made it so easy
for me on that day
I’d been worrying
and wondering how id get away

But you lay there so tiny
not making a sound
And with that I began 
forming my own solid ground

I started to plan 
and acting so sweet 
Cooking him meals 
and rubbing his feet

6 months later I drove off 
I was finally done
It was finally over
i was finally gone

I thought id be happy 
i thought it’d be fine 
Especially after a few 
glasses of wine

I was not prepared
for the road up ahead
Nor the constant screaming 
of his voice in my head

My bones would vibrate 
a low painful tone
My thoughts were rapid 
never leaving me alone

At the end of the day exhausted and torn
A few drinks numbed the pain...an alcoholic was born

What is Tantric Sex?

Tantric Sex

Tantric sex is a special, meditative, and spiritual ancient Indian sexual practice that inspires couples to concentrate more on mind and body connection. Tantra is usually meditative and slow, and the goal is never to just achieve an orgasm but rather to be present and enjoy the sexual experience and body sensations. It allows sexual energy to move throughout one’s body for enlightenment, transformation, and healing. Tantric sex weaves sexuality and spirituality together and encourages the significance of intimacy when having sex. It might be commonly perceived as if the primary aim of tantra is attaining sexual pleasure; however, tantric sex purposes of elevating sensuality and celebrating one’s body. This unique sexual practice connects sexuality, spirituality, and the mindfulness state. 

When you practice tantric sex with your partner, your connection is elevated to another deeper and greater level because the methods involved in tantra help in developing closer, special intimate contact when exploring each other physically. Tantric sex is believed to have the power to rectify sexual problems, including anorgasmia, erectile dysfunction, and premature ejaculation. 

Practicing tantric sex as a couple

There are various techniques involved when getting into this eccentric sexual practice. Tantric sex should be explored when both are completely relaxed, comfortable, and far from any form of distraction. The following are a few tips you could follow as a couple before diving into tantra:

  • Know your body

Being aware of the desire of one’s body and being in sync is encouraged in tantra since one can easily implement this during the sexual experience. The more aware one is of their most pleasurable zones, the more elevated the sexual experience gets. A good example is if one realizes that they have emotional barriers around masturbation, they need to be gentle with themselves when exploring the cause for this block in knowing their body intimately. 

  • Understanding your partner’s body

Tantric sex is also centered on respecting and valuing each other’s bodies. By taking ample time to explore each other’s bodies, the sexual experience is heightened for the couple. A slow and deliberate full-body massage is a good technique to know what awakens your partner’s sexual energy. Additionally, this helps an individual be in sync with the desires and wishes of their partner. Suppose the activity becomes uncomfortable at one point; it should be halted immediately, as is the case with whichever form of sexual practice.

  • Preparing

There are several things that a couple might do to aid in preparing for the tantric sexual experience. First, you can gain more knowledge on tantra; you are likely to get more ready after being more knowledgeable on tantric sex through research and reading. Also, you need to set aside time since tantric sex includes slow movement and being present in that moment. In some situations, the experience may take hours; therefore, time is vital to ensure satisfaction and enjoying the experience. Another tip is ensuring your mind is prepared. To fully concentrate on the moment, you need to ensure your mind is free from distractions; therefore, exercising or meditating prior to the moment is good. Lastly, ensure to get a great place because the environment has a crucial role in tantra. The environment should include a comfortable temperature and a relaxing setting. Relaxing music, scented candles, and dim lights are a great place to set the mood. 

  • Create the moment with yourself

To establish this, you could attempt to practice mindfulness. To fully enjoy tantric sex, being fully present at the moment is vital; therefore, one must concentrate on the sensations of their body and breathing. Secondly, one can explore their body, for example, through a self-massage, therefore, paying keen attention to the personal touch and elevating arousals and bodily sensations. Also, masturbating is encouraged, although the goal is not reaching the climax per se but rather to feel more in tune with their bodies. 

  • Create the moment with your partner

As a couple, creating this special moment with your partner, you could try the tips below:

  • Implement the hand-on-heart position. To achieve an in-depth, intimate bond, couples must sit facing each other with their legs crossed. The couple must position their right hand on each other’s heart and their left hand on top of their partner. Attempt aligning your breathing to feel your connections to each other. 
  • Avoid being linear. Usually, activities involved in sex might follow the standard order of foreplay, sex, then orgasm. Although, in tantric sex, it’s all about trying new things; thus, it’s better to be ready and flexible to whatever feels great at the particular moment.
  • Maintain eye contact. As a couple exploring tantra, making eye contact with your partner is encouraged to assist in deepening your connection and elevate your intimacy. 
  • Don’t be in a hurry. Exploring bodily sensation is vital in tantric sex; therefore, take things slow and meditate while you are at it. This spiritual, unique sexual experience has to be slow and, most importantly, enjoyable for the couple.
  • The breathing technique

One of the most integral factors of tantric sex is breathing, so please breathe. Partially, this is because tantra is centered around meditation. During tantric sex, you need to concentrate on deep breathing. To fully and easily achieve this, take five deep breaths through your nose and exhale through the mouth. When practicing partnered sex as a couple, be in tune with each other’s breath, elevating intimacy and deepening your connection.

Kapalbhati is another breathing tactic a couple could implement in tantric sex; in men, Kapalbhati is important in prolonging male ejaculation. When a man feels that they are almost having an orgasm, they can forcefully breathe out through the mouth and then inhale through it.

There is so much to learn about tantric sex, including the best positions to use and the healing benefits of exploring tantric sex. Additionally, there are myths and misconceptions associated with tantra, such as tantra is solely about sex, it’s dangerous, its black magic, its esoteric, and many others. This blog post is dedicated to educating individuals and couples about all they need to know about tantra; stay tuned for more because there is so much more!

To book a session with me to learn more CLICK HERE

Stop Hating the Toxic Masculine

When we hear the term TOXIC MASCULINE we usually think of an angry man who is power hungry and has no regard for peoples emotions. They grunt through life, leaving chaos in their wake. Ah yes, the caveman that we now refer to as TOXIC MASCULINE.

I heard something yesterday that made me think, so I will quote him here: (@oneguysopinion TikTok)

“What does being a man mean? It means I am presumed the villain, that I am guilty of things other men have done that I’ve never done and that they have not done in front of me for me to be able to stop them. It means that at 18 I have to sign up for the service; to be sent off to a war that I may not agree with by a president I didn’t vote for. It means I’m supposed to provide, work long hours, work overtime, work in dangerous conditions and that my life is expendable. It means that I am supposed to protect and respect woman but I am told “that’s not enough” just to be a good guy. But in order to stop bad guys, that would require leadership, competitiveness and aggression. Things Im told are signs of TOXIC MASCULINITY. It means that I address women as “Ma’am” even though I am told by a woman in her 20’s or early 30’s that that’s insulting, that Im calling her old. Even though I call 4 year old girls Ma’am. It means I open doors for women and that I carry heavy object for them. But I’m told that’s being misogynistic, that I’m demeaning her as a woman and implying she can’t do it for herself. It means growing up I was taught almost nothing about raising children, and that even if I’m in my 30’s and 40’s and have children of my own my competency as a parent is questioned. That spending time with my own children is called babysitting. It means that kissing BooBoos and giving affection to my own child or checking for a dirty diaper could be misconstrued as sexual. It means, in divorce Im almost guaranteed to lose custody of my children and that my role as parent will be boiled down to providing part of my income. It means one of the main ways I am measured as a person is by how much I can earn, which can result in severe depression when I find myself unemployed or unable to earn enough. Depression and feelings that as a boy I was never taught to express. I was told to “Toughen up! Man up!” and that it was considered “girly” or “weak” to show those emotions. And despite all those hardships I am told that I benefit from a patriarchal society. A patriarchal society that I no more helped build than the person saying that to me. The examples I am given to show we live in a patriarchal society is that the 531 members of congress are majorly men, and that every president has been a man, or that the majority of billionaires are men. But all those men added up is less than 1000…and I’m not a billionaire and I’ve never been a member of congress. And those 1000 men have very little in common with the other 160 million men in this country. But most of all, what it means to be a man is that all the things that I was taught to be… strong, a leader, a protector are now referred to as TOXIC MASCULINITY by women. This confuses and troubles me greatly because everything I was taught as a young boy, of what it is to be a man, was taught to me by my mother. This was also true for my friends who were lucky enough to have a father in their life growing up, but they were raised by their mothers.”